Spam, Phish, and others...

Good morning! It's Monday. While Scoot is locked in mortal combat with the forces of ignorance, I get a chance to catch up on all my fan mail.

Wait a a minute, I don't know anyone in Nigeria. Yes, dear reader(s) it is time for the annual diatribe on spam and other internet abuses. Let's begin by reviewing the top few spam e-mails, sexual aids aside.

1) Hello, I am Kwanodallala Mugabartilsg from Lagos, Nigeria. I have $20 million (did I say $20 million, I meant $40 million) in a numbered account. No wait, don't delete me, it's legitimate I sw**

2) Congratulations! You have won the Lithuanian lottery, presently valued at 100 million euros, that's 5 billion in US dolla**

3) Timmy was born without a head, his fondest wish is to annoy the crap out of every living thing on the planet. Won't you send this message alon**

4) I swear this is true! A professor at a University in a large western state sent this out. Taking large doses of mercury and rubbing them gently on yo**

And now my newest, and most recent,

5) My name is SGT David Ess, serving with the Third Infantry in Iraq...

Ah yes, the desperate plea of our soldiers in Iraq, strangely sent out from Yahoo Japan. I am sure the SGT needs enough money to buy an Iraqi lottery ticket in order to purchase more mercury for the little headless boy he and his platoon have adopted...

The net has proven the depth and height of humanity. I think I have learned that there are folks who would gladly pick our pockets as pick us up when we fall. Once again it is the understated and overlooked who tend to do the most good.

On another note...

Scoot, I am with you. I look forward to the return of your intellect to the ethereal world.