Day by Day



03 November 2006

Sixteen years...


We enter into this life dancing alone. Working on our steps a bit at a time. It is often only when we find that certain partner that we are able to tread into patterns undreamed of and thus display all that is possible within our soul. Citizen Une and I celebrate (acknowledge?) sixteen years together as a married couple. In that time we have;

1) Bought and sold four houses

2) Moved five times

3) Changed jobs at least as many

4) Redirected both of our careers at least once each

5) Had two children

6) Gained a beautiful dog - Inga - and recently had to let her go...

7) Rebuilt two houses

8) Faced the danger of war together

9) Bought and sold cars

10) Provided comfort to friends in need

11) Dealt with multiple family health crises

12) Lost grandparents

13) Gained and lost friends

14) Performed on stage together

15) Fought

16) Loved

17) Lived


It is remarkable that so much has transpired in a relatively short amount of time! And this is simply the broadest possible brush. I can not begin to describe how important a partner she is to me. I was asked recently what I thought the roles of a father and husband ought to be.


I would have had no trouble answering that a few years ago, but now I think it is more complex and subtle. There is a certain uniqueness to each gender's traits. These qualities we all bring in some balance within ourselves, but it is the emotional needs within in each of us that are met by our partner. Thus allowing us to truly grow beyond our own wisdom.


This balance and need evolves over time. It can not remain static. If you happen to have children, or simply aging parents, you understand that what was applicable even a year ago may be incompatible now. Thus it is within long-term, intimate relationships.


There was a study released recently on the effect of same-sex unions on society in Sweden. The study revealed that by encouraging more committment, a correlation to overall stronger bonds between all couples was created. I believe that although the human species is a social animal, capable of nearly limitless love, there is a need for that singular connection.


Call it the mirror-self. Call it the Yin to your Yan. But whatever you call it, I know I have found it within she who captured my heart so many years ago.

5 comments:

Scootmaroo said...

My congratulations. Odd, I always know when both your birthdays are, but never your anniversary...

Major John said...

"Performed on stage together"

More than I can say. Congrats.

Scootmaroo said...

Wow, another one I have up on Major John!

Citizen Deux said...

Thanks...just got back from Cub Scout bivouac...in sub freezing mountain weather...

Scootmaroo said...

My God, how frightengly suburban! Of course, who am I too talk? I spent the weekend at the Richmond Marriot with 1,000 teenage theatre students...putting on oneacts....be afraid, be very afraid.