03 November 2006
We enter into this life dancing alone. Working on our steps a bit at a time. It is often only when we find that certain partner that we are able to tread into patterns undreamed of and thus display all that is possible within our soul. Citizen Une and I celebrate (acknowledge?) sixteen years together as a married couple. In that time we have;
1) Bought and sold four houses
2) Moved five times
3) Changed jobs at least as many
4) Redirected both of our careers at least once each
5) Had two children
6) Gained a beautiful dog - Inga - and recently had to let her go...
7) Rebuilt two houses
8) Faced the danger of war together
9) Bought and sold cars
10) Provided comfort to friends in need
11) Dealt with multiple family health crises
12) Lost grandparents
13) Gained and lost friends
14) Performed on stage together
It is remarkable that so much has transpired in a relatively short amount of time! And this is simply the broadest possible brush. I can not begin to describe how important a partner she is to me. I was asked recently what I thought the roles of a father and husband ought to be.
I would have had no trouble answering that a few years ago, but now I think it is more complex and subtle. There is a certain uniqueness to each gender's traits. These qualities we all bring in some balance within ourselves, but it is the emotional needs within in each of us that are met by our partner. Thus allowing us to truly grow beyond our own wisdom.
This balance and need evolves over time. It can not remain static. If you happen to have children, or simply aging parents, you understand that what was applicable even a year ago may be incompatible now. Thus it is within long-term, intimate relationships.
There was a study released recently on the effect of same-sex unions on society in Sweden. The study revealed that by encouraging more committment, a correlation to overall stronger bonds between all couples was created. I believe that although the human species is a social animal, capable of nearly limitless love, there is a need for that singular connection.
Call it the mirror-self. Call it the Yin to your Yan. But whatever you call it, I know I have found it within she who captured my heart so many years ago.